the thought vault

2005

09/27/05 - I'd really miss bacon if I were a cyborg.
09/26/05 - Hilfbot says, "I blame Lee."
09/20/05 - Zombies make lousy chandeliers.
09/17/05 - Those are deliberate trees.
09/16/05 - Yay, pants!
09/12/05 - Hilfbot says, "Just because you're learning something doesn't mean it's something worth learning."
09/09/05 - We don't want inverted pets.
09/02/05 - There is nothing that sweaters can't do.
09/01/05 - Soup and curry are quite far from pizza.

08/31/05 - My shoes are cute and bloodthirsty.
08/20/05 - I'd give up God before I'd give up bacon.

07/28/05 - You don't need to wear mascara to use the library.
07/25/05 - Puppies are like kittens, except they're not cats.
07/24/05 - All robots hate Darth Maul.
07/17/05 - The photo printer is inside the microwave.
07/15/05 - Our dichotomy opens the combat.
07/11/05 - We are all thought out.
07/06/05 - I'm washing my spiders!
07/04/05 - Hilfbot says, "Yes, you can expect more from DSL - 50% more spam 90% faster!"
07/01/05 - Happy birthday to me, dammit!

06/27/05 - Greatly the virtue temple seeing and it is dense.
06/26/05 - There's no standing on cliffs in Austen!
06/25/05 - And you don't mess around with Jin.
06/19/05 - How long can you go without saying "Wisconsin?"
06/18/05 - Could you defeat a Jewish vampire with a cross made of bacon?
06/16/05 - Hilfbot says, "Rt needs no reason!"
06/15/05 - My head looks like the ocean?
06/14/05 - I seem to be bleeding in unexpected places.
06/09/05 - Why can't window salesmen park properly?
06/08/05 - Don Henley is starting to look like Vash the Stampede.
06/07/05 - When I open a bottle of Mountain Dew I can feel the plaque forming on my teeth.
06/06/05 - One can purr without vowels.
06/05/05 - That cat has a strong work ethic.
06/01/05 - Fingernails are annoying.

05/25/05 - Twinkie needs to floss.
05/24/05 - Does Ohio take PayPal?
05/18/05 - Amy says, "If the shoe fits, hit the Captain with it."
05/17/05 - Captain Spelling says, "By no stretch of the imagination is pain as good as cake."
05/16/05 - I do not like repetitive pasta.
05/14/05 - Happy birthday to Eva, Twinkie, and Ham!
05/13/05 - Eva says, "Rrmeaowr!" (It's hard to translate sometimes.)
05/12/05 - Captain Spelling says, "I find myself in the geometric center of not caring."
05/11/05 - That's not Eva, that's toilet paper.
05/06/05 - Hilfbot says, "I'd rather have sausages and eggs than savages and eggs."
05/04/05 - My feet are rumbly.
05/03/05 - When people start to notice the hole in your pants, it's time to fix them.
05/02/05 - But what about the general?

04/25/05 - That which does not kill us will only make us grumpy.
04/17/05 - A milkshake is just ice cream that has given up.
04/15/05 - Have you seen my croutons?
04/14/05 - Hilfbot says, "Spaniards are just as crushable as the rest of humanity."
04/12/05 - A colon is two periods that think too much of themselves.
04/11/05 - The secret is felt.
04/10/05 - It's hard to crush someone on the phone.
04/09/05 - A semicolon is when a period and a comma get together and have a party.
04/08/05 - He's the one in the pretty skirt.
04/06/05 - Amy says, "No more thinking; we're already thinking into the future!"
04/05/05 - Hilfbot says, "Big red vampires: the perfect accessory for any occasion!"
04/04/05 - Hilfbot says, "Crush them under the iron fist of cyborg rule!"
04/03/05 - Hilfbot says, "Crush their spirits, then their bodies."
04/02/05 - My car smells like donuts.

03/30/05 - I will vanquish my winter pants!
03/28/05 - Mono means no sharing.
03/27/05 - Hilfbot says, "The internet is not for the old."
03/21/05 - Hilfbot says, "I demand sustenance!"
03/18/05 - Would an English ninja have bad teeth? How could you tell?
03/17/05 - I really need to pick a color scheme and stay with it.
03/10/05 - Food makes every day brighter. Especially if you set it on fire.
03/08/05 - What do you throw away in a $40 trash can?
03/07/05 - Potential cheese vs. realized cheese?
03/06/05 - I just want to be a high school boy.
03/05/05 - Hilfbot says, "All I need to know about cooking ramen I learned from Inspector Zenigata."
03/04/05 - It takes all kinds to keep the sock industry in business.
03/03/05 - Take that, future generations!
03/02/05 - Let's punch the wealthy.
03/01/05 - I have very nice fingernails.

02/27/05 - I much prefer external pants.
02/23/05 - Pants crisis!
02/22/05 - I swear he said, "Bacon time baby."
02/18/05 - Bacon time baby?
02/17/05 - Milton never gets the love.
02/16/05 - It's a sad day indeed when your toilet paper turns against you.
02/14/05 - Why is beating people socially unacceptable? They often deserve it.
02/10/05 - Captain Spelling says, "Peanut butter and jelly time is ALWAYS a good time!"
02/09/05 - I want to be a dead princess when I grow up.
02/08/05 - Courtney on bees, "They think about pollen and um, buzzing."
02/07/05 - I've lost my resolve as a nation!
02/03/05 - This is the day I prove to you that I ain't weird.
02/02/05 - Beware the plague of the cautious minivan.
02/01/05 - Pirates triumph over grammar, film at 11.

01/31/05 - It's best to turn off the car when you're done using it.
01/28/05 - RIAA is evil spelled with different letters.
01/25/05 - Captain Spelling says, "My skeleton key is called a brick."
01/21/05 - My ass is as wide as an electric wheelchair.
01/20/05 - But then, if you give them $10 they'll both go away for a while.
01/19/05 - Science brings us toast flavored jelly beans. Yay, science!
01/18/05 - I'd rather have yeast than children.
01/13/05 - Whatever you're eating, don't eat that.
01/12/05 - Are those boy pants from the Gap? Why yes, they are boy pants from the Gap.
01/11/05 - You just can't crochet a scarf while riding a stationary bike.
01/08/05 - I've been contaminated by mall people.
01/07/05 - It's best to yield to the insane.
01/06/05 - Captain Spelling says, "Rednecks are nature's penicillin for the zombie infection."
01/05/05 - Hilfbot says, "Roll?"
01/03/05 - Roll roll roll roll aaaargh!
01/01/05 - What denomination is Batman?

2004

12/22/04 - Inadequate man is talking to the gas pump.
12/19/04 - Tinkle on, Vera kitty, in that great litter pan in the sky.
12/16/04 - Hilfbot says, "You will only have those (even numbered years) half of the time."
12/15/04 - Hilfbot says, "You could prefix it with a "Hilfbot says," and perhaps get away with it."
12/14/04 - Cats are more often found in trees than in concrete blocks.
12/10/04 - Ah, cheese and crackers.
12/09/04 - Toast implies a toaster somewhere in the past.
12/08/04 - I'm going to hit you with a brick, Miss Suzy Yields A Lot.
12/06/04 - No one likes leaky pets.

11/28/04 - Zombies shouldn't have spatulas!
11/27/04 - I'm having bad luck with rocks today.
11/16/04 - Don't resize windows while sneezing.
11/15/04 - Pie always triumphs.
11/14/04 - I am overwhelmed by roast beef.
11/13/04 - Men should never wear shiny pants.
11/12/04 - Penguins have time delay fuses?
11/11/04 - Why is there Benadryl in the spice rack?
11/07/04 - My toes are well conditioned.
11/06/04 - When I'm feeling grumpy, I like to bite a kitten.
11/03/04 - No one needs zombies first thing in the morning.
11/02/04 - I'm being molested by oak trees!
11/01/04 - No one wants gourds on November 1st.

10/27/04 - There's a call for you on the imaginary phone!
10/25/04 - Bowling doesn't have a particular focus.
10/19/04 - It's always the unexpected police that get you.
10/17/04 - We will make you new pants with an electric blanket and a staple gun.
10/16/04 - Paper towels have no locking mechanism.
10/14/04 - Whack!
10/13/04 - What's cooler than a wood-paneled NASCAR-stickered minivan?
10/12/04 - "Vintage" is a word that should never be applied to lunch meat.
10/11/04 - No hugging in traffic.
10/06/04 - Franco Harris wants me to get out and vote.
10/04/04 - The library smells like toast.
10/01/04 - That phone pole is made of duct tape!

09/29/04 - Whap whap whap!
09/28/04 - Food safety tip: don't eat the fuzzy cheese.
09/22/04 - Courtney says, "Who would have thought the mall would offer salvation?"
09/21/04 - I swear I heard it on TV: take a ride on the wheel of panties.
09/13/04 - Are you a donut pirate?
09/12/04 - Angles make the world less round.
09/11/04 - It's different when it's your face.
09/10/04 - Sometimes it takes new pants to get a new job.
09/09/04 - No bots, no thoughts.
09/07/04 - My goldfish looks bored.
09/06/04 - Labor Day is not for Chinese food.
09/05/04 - Fishing is just hunting in water.
09/03/04 - I'm waiting for my cat to drop the iron on her head.
09/02/04 - It's still a good idea to dress up like a pirate.
09/01/04 - Not logs!

08/31/04 - Light bulbs don't hurt kittens.
08/27/04 - It's all a matter of prounouns.
08/26/04 - Goldfish are more decorative than interactive.
08/25/04 - Boat boat boat!
08/24/04 - I'm in the future again.
08/23/04 - Eighty billion chubby cosplayers can't be wrong!
08/21/04 - Spotted on the internet: teflon is a lonely substance.
08/19/04 - Phase box my ass?
08/18/04 - I'm more solid and liquid than gas.
08/13/04 - Please don't contaminate my pants.
08/12/04 - Wind of the transvestite wolf god!
08/11/04 - There's a circle in my pocket.
08/10/04 - Do we have a phone number for the Ivory Coast?
08/09/04 - N is between K and R, right?
08/03/04 - Yay, another power outage!
08/02/04 - Yay, power outage!

07/28/04 - Isn't everything legal if the police don't find out?
07/27/04 - Why are there grapes in the parking lot?
07/26/04 - Captain Spelling says, "There are no such things as stealth cows."
07/25/04 - Courtney on William Penn, "He's got the whole f*cking state named after him!"
07/24/04 - Somehow, I knew you were an asshole.
07/23/04 - Hilfbot says, "It's always a good idea to dress up like a pirate!"
07/22/04 - Where did that lane come from?
07/21/04 - This bathroom will self-destruct in 30 seconds.
07/20/04 - Apparently the person with the most expensive car has the right of way.
07/19/04 - Pommes de terre rissolees et mutilation!
07/18/04 - Aly says, "You can't negotiate with zombies."
07/17/04 - Never run the red light in front of the police station.
07/16/04 - Everyone at the mall (excepting me) must die a nasty F0F8FF-hot electrical death.
07/14/04 - Was that building always there?
07/13/04 - Captain Spelling says, "Damn you and your sensible haberdashery!"
07/12/04 - I am a man that has been called the Edo tourist map.
07/11/04 - Let's go find a cow and wash it.
07/10/04 - String!
07/09/04 - Hilfbot says, "Cosplay density is not always the best indicator of a show's worth."
07/08/04 - Mexican Sei-chan says, "It's time to feed the avocado tree."
07/07/04 - I lost my fonts!
07/06/04 - ALY: What did you say about a three-way with chickens?
07/05/04 - I drove across five states to watch Aly and Thar buy soy milk.
07/04/04 - It's night vision Amy!
07/03/04 - This is the "summon waitress" mudra.
07/02/04 - The fireworks store has an excellent sprinkler system.
07/01/04 - Happy birthday to me, dammit!

06/30/04 - It's science!
06/29/04 - A clean goldfish is a happy goldfish.
06/28/04 - Life is better with five speakers.
06/27/04 - Hilfbot says, "You do not give explosive robots to Aly!"
06/26/04 - I like my Greek poets thoroughly dead.
06/24/04 - Captain Spelling says, "I think my thinky thing is broken."
06/21/04 - Don't sit on the library!
06/20/04 - Mmm, pavement.
06/19/04 - What if Subaru is lactose intolerant?
06/18/04 - How many kilometers is it to Vladimir?
06/17/04 - Hilfbot says, "Since when is breakfast a logical measure of time?
06/16/04 - I have to be back at work by sausage past eggs.
06/15/04 - June is a good month for roadkill.
06/14/04 - June is a good month for thoughts.
06/13/04 - You shouldn't try to play racquetball while driving.
06/12/04 - It is good to be out of the country if you are planning nefarious deeds.
06/11/04 - That's not an authorized lunch space.
06/10/04 - Dictionary armada!
06/09/04 - It's a minimalist tractor.
06/07/04 - This place is called the department store of torture.
06/06/04 - Fie!
06/03/04 - This library needs attack robots.
06/02/04 - Hey, Aly! Gilded age! Gilded age!
06/01/04 - Work work work.

05/31/04 - I am a mighty shark!
05/28/04 - In Spanish, with disposable tacos?
05/27/04 - I have a hunchbacked toenail.
05/26/04 - I'm not buying anybody a breast pump!
05/25/04 - It's more about chain saws than chickens.
05/24/04 - Oddly enough, my bra is the same color as the bathroom rug.
05/23/04 - Hilfbot says, "Only Han Solo can fight forest fires."
05/21/04 - Captain Spelling says, "Lethargy is tiring."
05/20/04 - There are too many pirates on my hard drive.
05/19/04 - I dropped my alphabet.
05/18/04 - Operation Iron Pants never ends.
05/17/04 - Hilfbot says, "Soup is for the weak!"
05/04/04 - Misheard on the telly, "More terrorists are stealing unicorns."
05/02/04 - If you're good at working with stretchy fabric, are you spandexterous?
05/01/04 - You can't drive fast with cake.

04/27/04 - Kittens and plumbing really shouldn't mix.
04/22/04 - Has anyone seen my atlas?
04/18/04 - Chainsaws make every day brighter.
04/17/04 - I've been distracted by the periodic table.
04/16/04 - I'm changing Eva's name to "Don't eat that."
04/11/04 - You are the child of a duck and underwear.
04/04/04 - There's too much public in this public bathroom.

03/22/04 - I like to make the most of my verbs.
03/21/04 - Bots are nocturnal!
03/19/04 - Hilfbot says, "You can resell a DVD player, not a tattoo."
03/17/04 - You are not the internet.
03/16/04 - If salt is bad for cars, can you imagine what it does to salt trucks?
03/15/04 - I seem to have misplaced my soup.
03/10/04 - I'd really like a Swiss Army knife.
03/08/04 - Don't run spell check when you're typing in Japanese.
03/07/04 - Kitten!
03/05/04 - The internet needs more Guns n' Roses.
03/04/04 - It's a pants crisis of epic proportions.
03/03/04 - Eva is a glass bead! It runs on six little wheels!

02/29/04 - Captain Spelling says, "Pirates were just punks with cannons."
02/26/04 - Happy birthday to my Vera kitty, who would have been six today.
02/25/04 - There are no dumb questions, just dumb people.
02/24/03 - The internet is for using the internet.
02/23/04 - There are some things that I don't want my hair to smell like.
02/22/04 - I need more food in my diet.
02/21/04 - Far be it from us to deprive you of ass-numbing cold.
02/16/04 - I do not bleed at your convenience!
02/15/04 - Pardon my spelling, I am typing sideways so as not to stomp on kittens.
02/08/04 - I wouldn't mind being neutered, but I'd have to be spayed.
02/05/04 - I blame the alphabet.
02/04/04 - It's so much better to be cute than thuggish.
02/02/04 - You'd think it would be hard to walk on yourself, cause you should know where you are.
02/01/04 - There's always something for Bono to whine about.

01/29/04 - From Aly's instant message: At first I read that "handcuffed by Amy!"
01/26/04 - These are my interstate shoes.
01/25/04 - I ruined my dinner with lunch. BONUS THOUGHT: It's like a greenhouse for my toes!
01/24/04 - These shorts do amazing things to my ass!
01/23/04 - I'm not used to being naked with wall to wall carpeting.
01/21/04 - Put the kittens in the tub; it's time for bed.
01/17/04 - The obsessive compulsive snow plow has gone past four times already.
01/15/04 - Kittens, and tanks, and motorcycles with snow tires.
01/14/03 - Aly says, " I think I determined that I have a thing for scruff and/or missing eyeballs."
01/13/04 - Where are the meat snacks?
01/12/04 - My cat is a hell knight?
01/11/04 - I am thought impared.
01/06/04 - I can't think of anything clever, dammit!
01/01/04 - Hilfbot says, "Feels like the last year."

2003

12/22/03 - Claire insists, "They have airplanes! I know about mice!"
12/18/03 - I don't dine with hobbits.
12/17/03 - Nothing says "warm" like a forest fire.
12/16/03 - Damn your time zones.
12/15/03 - Hilfbot says, "Rt rt fumo rt."
12/11/03 - Pants by mail!
12/10/03 - There's a kitten climbing my ass.
12/09/03 - Open the dictionary to "M" before sitting on it.
12/08/03 - Waking up pleasantly is something I hold dear.
12/06/03 - I make a lot of noise for a librarian.
12/05/03 - My combat potential is far greater than yours.
12/04/03 - That's a very interesting kitten.
12/03/03 - So my dad called me at work to find out what my phone number was.
12/02/03 - Courtney says, "I'm all thought out."

11/30/03 - Hello! Green light! Cars!
11/29/03 - Hello! Stop sign! Crosswalk!
11/27/03 - Hilfbot says, "Now that I'm done eating, I can take my shoes off."
11/26/03 - There's sawdust in my jammies.
11/25/03 - Chris says, "Pie will be here until 4:30."
11/23/03 - I'm eating moose heads!
11/22/03 - I need an 8 bit ice cube tray.
11/19/03 - Twinkie is toasting.
11/15/03 - This would be a good day to hold up the library.
11/11/03 - Robotech makes me think of fall and it's depressing in fall with Robotech.
11/09/03 - I'd best oil my leathers.
11/05/03 - No one wears jeans in the future.
11/04/03 - Those kittens are well hydrated.
11/03/03 - I'm having half a wet t-shirt contest.
11/02/03 - You can't rock on without verbs.

10/20/03 - There's an elf on my root beer.
10/18/03 - I'm taking my chicken sandwich for a walk.
10/17/03 - Bad dinner combination #203 - cherry Coke, pasta salad, and M&Ms.
10/14/03 - It's gonna get worse if he waits too long!
10/13/03 - I know enough French to find the bathroom and the police.
10/12/03 - I don't walk around carrying missiles.
10/11/03 - Whenever I think of "transvestite fruit," it brings a smile to my face.
10/08/03 - Like aluminum siding, but more artistic.
10/04/03 - Nice cornering, wench!

09/28/03 - Thinking on Sundays is right out.
09/23/03 - Please don't eat the ironing board.
09/22/03 - Let's play earthquake!
09/21/03 - I have twice as many kidneys as passports.
09/17/03 - A child cannot defeat me, for I am familiar with many kinds of weaponry.
09/14/03 - No no no Pat Benetar!
09/10/03 - The library is a font of interesting smells.
09/09/03 - English, Russian, Russian, English, French.
09/08/03 - Operation Iron Pants is complete.
09/07/03 - Rock on, scientific method!
09/06/03 - Hilfbot says, "Quizzes and Mozilla do not get along!"
09/04/03 - Kittens are cute so you won't kill them.
09/02/03 - If slippers look like flip flops, should they be called slip slops?

08/30/03 - I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you're just very stupid.
08/29/03 - And Jesus said, "Eat not the toenails of the Lepers."
08/28/03 - Badly subbed Zoro says, "I don't do the troublesome trivial."
08/27/03 - Aly says, "I don't want a science project in my body!"
08/22/03 - How do you feel about pop tarts?
08/20/03 - Cats don't eat mashed potatoes!
08/17/03 - My bathroom sink looks like Christmas.
08/16/03 - There's cow butts, that's science!
08/15/03 - My brain is offline.
08/06/03 - I have to renovate my head first.
08/05/03 - I'll look so good I'll have to glomp myself.
08/01/03 - Cod, dammit, cod!

07/31/03 - Spiders in the bathtub are immediately disqualified.
07/30/03 - Fanny packs are never a good idea.
07/22/03 - Please don't fondle the dinosaurs.
07/18/03 - Don't play with guns on the edge of a cliff.
07/16/03 - My Sprite is naked!
07/14/03 - If it rains and the pool cover is off, then the water...er, gets wet.
07/11/03 - Claire says, "Thanks for your buns."
07/10/03 - The pavement fairy was here.
07/09/03 - It's a pope centerfold!
07/08/03 - Just because cats are closer to the floor doesn't mean you should walk on them.
07/04/03 - Apparently Pizza Hut is at the end of the rainbow.
07/03/04 - I forgot about the mountains.
07/01/03 - Happy birthday to me, dammit!

06/30/03 - It's hard to be a pirate with hips.
06/29/03 - Look, it's Jaundice the pony!
06/23/03 - It's time to be mean to trees.
06/22/03 - I hope you are crushed by a bus.
06/21/03 - Now obelisks, they don't really do much. (History of Ancient Egypt book on tape!)
06/20/03 - It's a good day for bad posture!
06/19/03 - Thar says, "I have hamsters in my house."
06/18/03 - Hilfbot says, "My clever plan has failed; I must resort to violence."
06/14/03 - I'm a ninja, not a psychic.
06/13/03 - My feet do not want to stay in my shoes.
06/12/03 - Is that a lane?
06/09/03 - Courtney says, "A toaster is not an animal!"
06/08/03 - Minivans should not have clown noses!
06/06/03 - You don't often see Vikings on the parkway.
06/05/03 - The wallpaper just lurks there.
06/04/03 - I'm not feeling terribly yieldy today.
06/03/03 - I wish that March would go away now that it's June.
06/02/03 - Am I Amish? I don't think so!

05/31/03 - The PVC cement is eating my fingernails.
05/30/03 - Now is the hour of the pizza delivery men.
05/29/03 - AMY: What sound does a lazy robot make? HILFBOT: Zrt.
05/28/03 - You're an obsessive compulsive house cat.
05/27/03 - The library wants me to wear my logo shirt, but I already gave it to Goodwill. Oops.
05/25/03 - That's a bad place to count your girl scouts.
05/18/03 - Vikings are like ancient pirates!
05/17/03 - Shrubbery pirates.
05/13/03 - But with one arm, can he only swim in circles?
05/12/03 - Run fast, fast runner!
05/11/03 - Hilfbot says, "Giant sea cow!"
05/10/03 - This escalator is malfunctional.
05/09/03 - I think I accidentally invented a new color.
05/08/03 - Nope.
05/07/03 - Aly says, "Green and blood don't mix."
05/06/03 - These brownies are malfunctional.
05/05/03 - I'd rather live in a van by the river than listen to a former flight attendant tell cheese stories.
05/02/03 - I'm two minutes early and dressed like a grown up.
05/01/03 - Hilfbot declares, "Rrrt is timeless!"

04/30/03 - Kaizoku bento!
04/28/03 - When did I develop such a fondness for button down shirts?
04/27/03 - If you must jaywalk at night, please do it in lighter colors.
04/24/03 - If Zoro were a waffle, would you keep him in the freezer?
04/22/03 - Courtney says of her Kitty, "Extra toes give her extra courage."
04/20/03 - Hilfbot tells us, "Vowels are for humans."
04/19/03 - If you're nice to people, they give you anime and bagels.
04/18/03 - Meow!
04/16/03 - If you must jaywalk, please do it a little faster.
04/09/03 - The good thing about waffles is that they are appropriate any time.
04/06/03 - If you die, you won't have any future.
04/01/03 - Would a librarian stampede be really quiet?

03/25/03 - My goldfish is askew.
03/16/03 - I need an anti-thesarus.
03/15/03 - Beware the ides of March! (Julius Caesar, Act I, Scene II.)
03/12/03 - I am a black PlayStation disc!
03/11/03 - Where can I find a meat colored sock?
03/10/03 - Lettuce and tomatoes suddenly flew into my face! I'm not a salad!
03/09/03 - Aly passes on some information, "The after-life tastes like chocolate."
03/06/03 - My hair is rewritable.
03/04/03 - I don't know any English authors who aren't dead!
03/03/03 - Hey, that's kinda neat!

02/28/03 - But without evolution, you wouldn't have fish sandwiches.
02/27/03 - People in comas are probably content with dial-up internet.
02/26/03 - Trampolines and power tools, in the same store?
02/24/03 - Hilfboy says, "Shoveling daily sucks!"
02/20/03 - COURTNEY: I don't think that's a parking spot. AMY: I know that's not a parking spot.
02/19/03 - "Vampire jello shots!" or "Secret sword sauce!" You choose.
02/18/03 - Where would we be without our heads?
02/17/03 - Aly says, "Can any girl resist an innocent lick?" and "My quotes always sound so f***ed up!"
02/16/03 - Meatballs are self-explanatory, I think.
02/14/03 - Well, I guess they have to do something between earthquakes.
02/13/03 - "Mutiny on the Bounty" always makes me think of paper towels.
02/12/03 - Why am I speaking in an odd blend of ghetto and redneck?
02/11/03 - Simple formula: (number of cans on desk) = (number of days since desk was cleaned).
02/10/03 - You don't really believe in zombies...do you, Jean-Pierre?
02/09/03 - Are bugs capable of evil? No, cause bugs can't make sandwiches.
02/05/03 - Zoro, why are you retaining water?
02/04/03 - Norwegian hockey players passed out in government limos.
02/03/03 - Being a rock, I am without movement.
02/02/03 - Martin says, "My motto is when life gives you lemons, don't get a paper cut."
02/01/03 - Thar tells us, "Cutting doesn't go away so quickly."

01/30/03 - I'm telling you, there's nothing cooler than high school boys in the mall.
01/29/03 - Someone in this library is having fun, and it's not me.
01/27/03 - My shoes smell like a homeless man.
01/26/03 - If you're afraid to drive in the snow, then you should stay home.
01/25/03 - Aly says, "It's the pirate SAT!"
01/24/03 - No two snowflakes are alike, except for the ones on my underwear.
01/23/03 - I hope that was candy.
01/19/03 - Why are all of the ninjas wearing open toed shoes?
01/18/03 - Why are all of the pirates wearing sandals?
01/12/03 - F*ck is not a number.
01/10/03 - That woman can't handle a bag of cheese.
01/09/03 - Look what Mary Wesley did to my shirt!
01/08/03 - Courtney says, "Presents: everyone loves them. Unless they are odd."
01/07/03 - No, I did not teapot in depth.
01/06/03 - Hilfboy says, "Feh!"
01/02/03 - Um, pargon?
01/01/03 - Isn't it interesting how we always end up in bed with Jamie?

2002

12/30/02 - Now I'm a fleece gangster!
12/29/02 - Where can we get a slushie, a coffee, and a donut?
12/28/02 - Aly says, "I think it's stick a finger in an orifice day."
12/25/02 - It's the demonic pine of doom!
12/21/02 - From Aly's mom, "I don't want morning beans."
12/18/02 - Does my Christmas present have an axis of symmetry? How many?
12/17/02 - My Cherry Coke is a Dr. Pepper.
12/15/02 - Converting and burning - is it the Spanish Inquisition, or am I making CDs?
12/13/02 - I know I'm cool because I'm walking on my pants.
12/12/02 - Hilfboy says, "Oy, Rupan!"
12/11/02 - Hmm, I might need that thumb someday.
12/10/02 - The back half of my head is in a sunbeam and it's making my brain heat unevenly.
12/09/02 - I think the cat would sleep in the furnace if she could.
12/05/02 - I'm eating a bagel, that's a quiet food.
12/04/02 - Sei-chan's Secret Sauce!
12/03/02 - Am I the Pittsburgh Parking Authority, that I would know such a thing?
12/02/02 - Drat.
12/01/02 - That's a lot to ask from cardboard.

11/30/02 - When fire breathing monks are chasing you, it's best to hide on the submarine.
11/29/02 - Courtney asks, "Did you know bacon removes paint from cars?" I didn't know that!
11/28/02 - The vampire dinner rolls have small fangs indeed.
11/27/02 - Hilfboy and Amy agree, "Three letter words are fun."
11/26/02 - You didn't think I knew about the 6th army and Stalingrad, did you?
11/25/02 - Please do not talk to the computers!
11/23/02 - Wouldn't a snowflake coloring book be really useless?
11/22/02 - I like snow.
11/20/02 - Abandoned Sandwich, and Tomato in the Parking Lot.
11/17/02 - Hilf boy complains, "My computer is in poor health, it needs beaten with a lead pipe."
11/15/02 - I don't want to watch a cow giving birth while I eat breakfast. Thanks.
11/12/02 - Courtney wonders, "Why is there glitter all over the bathroom floor?"
11/11/02 - Are librarians allowed to like Public Enemy?
11/10/02 - Thar says, "Puuu!"
11/09/02 - So the moral of the story is "never put a dragon on wheels."
11/07/02 - There are so many better illegal parking spaces out there.
11/06/02 - If anyone wants to have a WWII reenactment, I'd have to suggest the firebombing of Oakland.
11/05/02 - Got the boots, now I just need a tank.
11/04/02 - One more cloudy day, and I swear I'm gonna kill someone.
11/03/02 - Why are Sunday nights so boring? Why why why?
11/01/02 - I can't translate this from German to English because it's Dutch.

10/31/02 - Hilfboy, having trouble with a thought for the day, "I think I will eat candy instead."
10/29/02 - The chicken soup should not be frothy.
10/28/02 - From a coworker, "I prefer to think of you as the good librarian fairy."
10/27/02 - What channel are the Nazis on?
10/22/02 - What else can I make you worry about?
10/21/02 - English muffins always make me think of space shuttles.
10/20/02 - I lost my watch. No, I didn't.
10/19/02 - Does anyone actually keep gloves in the glove compartment?
10/18/02 - Mmmm...musical cheese!
10/17/02 - From Bloomington, "Aly is currently enlisting those who wish to join her fight against death and imperfection."
10/16/02 - I'm not putting my tongue on anything I find in a public library.
10/15/02 - When was red carpet ever a good idea?
10/14/02 - If it's good for the books, it's good for the walls.
10/11/02 - Must learn how to spell "Delaware."
10/06/02 - AMY: What sound does a British robot in Boston Harbor make? HILFBOY: Rrrrrt, old chap.
10/05/02 - The last thing I need is bees in my pants.
10/03/02 - AMY: What sound does a robot duck make? HILFBOY: Rrrrt.
10/02/02 - Courtney's thought, "I wish I had a weather machine."
10/01/02 - AMY: A drawer to sort your silverware. COURTNEY: Georges Seurat your silverware?

09/30/02 - Happy birthday to Courtney!
09/29/02 - AMY: I think I dislocated my butt. CLAIRE: How can you dislocate your butt?
09/28/02 - "Men are mere mortals who are not worth going to your grave for." - Shirley Bassey
09/26/02 - That's not a parking space.
09/23/02 - Why do we have bilingual Frosted Flakes?
09/22/02 - Hilfboy on hair dye, "HB uses the default color scheme."
09/19/02 - AMY: Can you do an assassin haircut? KATE: Just get me a picture. (Kate cuts Amy's hair!)
09/17/02 - Fight the powers that be, etc.
09/15/02 - I'm getting plasma on my keyboard.
09/14/02 - Left hand Sei-chan right hand Subaru!
09/13/02 - "I thought he liked toast or something." Sister-in-law Jill on Bono.
09/12/02 - I'm doing my part to bring anarchy to central Pennsylvania.
09/09/02 - Because he's looking out the window, that's why!
09/08/02 - I cannot find the playlist button on my Seishirou WinAmp skin, more proof that he is truly evil.
09/05/02 - Remember the Alamo this holiday season.
09/02/02 - Were you confronted with meat products?

08/31/02 - From Hilfboy, "Let's name everything after British generals!"
08/28/02 - Sarcasm requires no answer!
08/26/02 - Sorry, not allowed to tell you.
08/24/02 - The internet is not made of trees!
08/22/02 - Wonder what happens when I cut this thread off?
08/21/02 - Pimps and squirrels are what makes Japan so great.
08/20/02 - From our new pal Winfrey, "Smile more today." So cheery!
08/19/02 - Episode 1 - I'm an elementary school girl with a pimp.
08/18/02 - Says Thar, "It's probably difficult for pirates to play hopscotch with their peglegs!"
08/17/02 - My cat is learning how to bark.
08/16/02 - One does not often find men named Seishirou in Monroeville, PA.
08/15/02 - HILFBOY: Watched pot never boils, yeah. AMY: So a watched burner? HILFBOY: So a watched burner goes at 2x.
08/14/02 - from courtney: wear pants and say "fuck it."
08/13/02 - Sei-chan to Hokuto's heart: (splorch) Bonus thought from Aly, "I can't drive when I'm incorporeal."
08/12/02 - RahXephon 13 can bite my ass!
08/11/02 - I'm playing seismograph.
08/10/02 - It's that Sears truck again!
08/09/02 - Buses always cause disgruntlement.
08/08/02 - When prompted, Beth said, "I don't have any original thoughts today."
08/07/02 - Thieron had a thought, but I lost it somewhere. Sorry!
08/06/02 - Waaah!
08/05/02 - This chicken is scary because it's turkey.
08/04/02 - God wants us to have the sniffles.
08/01/02 - Okay, let's tie the helium balloons to the barbed wire fence.

07/31/02 - From Courtney, "Dolphins don't have opposable thumbs!"
07/29/02 - The cable company has switched C-SPAN and MTV. Hilarious!
07/27/02 - Subaru's a boy!
07/25/02 - No, I really was trying to spray paint a juice box.
07/24/02 - Happy birthday to the Hilfboy!
07/22/02 - Short hair, long hair, light hair, dark hair, blue eyes, green eyes, one eye, two eyes...la la la!
07/19/02 - ALY: What kind of car would Sei-chan drive? HILFBOY: A Subaru?
07/17/02 - Crispy F0F8FF hakama...yum! *sakura*
07/16/02 - It's easier to spell Bradbury than fahrenheit.
07/15/02 - From Aly, "I bet Sei-chan has trouble shopping for a pre-made suit."
07/13/02 - 13mm Clockwork Giant Pandas?!?
07/12/02 - You said to me, I have appointment in a basement, with the insane ones, who live the guitar with the hand....
07/11/02 - There's lots to be said for nice solid color backgrounds.
07/10/02 - How come Bryan gets a new tent and I get a loaf of stale French bread?
07/09/02 - British people can make most anything rhyme with "again."
07/08/02 - I wish I could tell time.
07/07/02 - Things you can burn: CDs and hash browns. (NOT motorcycles!)
07/06/02 - $22.00 for a bra? That's $11.00 per...um, never mind.
07/05/02 - Woah! U.S. Polo Assassins?!?
07/04/02 - Vampires are not water soluble.
07/02/02 - What the hell is an interpretive boat tour?
07/01/02 - Happy birthday to me!

06/29/02 - Whenever I see a fruit salad, it makes me think of Greg. Damn him!
06/28/02 - Please don't practice sign language when you are driving, woman in the car in front of me!
06/27/02 - Cats do not like to be wrapped in aluminum foil.
06/26/02 - Thieron notes, "Man, fish are dumb!"
06/25/02 - AMY: Let's play "Courtney the trained seal!" COURTNEY: Arf! Arf!
06/24/02 - It makes me wanna put the safety pins back in my ears.
06/23/02 - Cheesecake in a graveyard?
06/22/02 - HMM hmm hmmm hmm, HMM hmm hmmm hmm, hmm hmm HMMM hmm, HMM hmm hmmm hmm....
06/21/02 - Shigure, Nataku, Hotohori, Sessho-Maru, Yueh, Kakyou, Ran, Hatori, Kyo, Manji, Lantis, Zagato.
06/20/02 - I'd rather gnaw off my own leg than buy Charles Dickens.
06/19/02 - It must be a leek thief!
06/18/02 - The Diet Coke should make up for the chocolate donut, right?
06/16/02 - Thar says, "Pirates aren't known for their grammar skills."
06/15/02 - New Hampshire doesn't point that way!
06/14/02 - Bleah.
06/13/02 - I'm nice to all spiders (except the ones I that find in my shirt).
06/12/02 - *Poke* Ouch! *Poke* Ouch! *Poke* Ouch! *Poke* Ouch!
06/11/02 - As Claire tells us, "Cats look very surprised when they eat ants with their Meow Mix."
06/10/02 - Quoth Hilfboy, "The Amish do not have a high demand for broadband."
06/09/02 - I don't think I'd want to go to the Picasso Hair and Nail Salon. Not to mention Picasso Auto Body.
06/08/02 - I guess it would be wrong to wreck my car just so I could meet the cute ambulance driver.
06/07/02 - Damn you and your fish game.
06/06/02 - Today is flossing day!
06/05/02 - People! France is not a state, okay?
06/04/02 - You no good nickel switcher!
06/03/02 - Aly's thought is too long!
06/02/02 - HILFBOY: Cats don't read books. AMY: Well, maybe they don't like the characters.
06/01/02 - Overheard at Red Lobster by Hilfboy, "Now don't you be wrappin your lips around that catfish."

05/30/02 - And motorcycles! And motorcycles! And motorcycles!
05/29/02 - Box box file?
05/28/02 - Doritos, socks, and dental floss.
05/27/02 - Has anyone seen my sandals?
05/26/02 - Polka is not a natural state.
05/25/02 - "Umm...." Thanks, Mr. Yuda!
05/23/02 - I'm gonna wrap my toes in toilet paper and set them on fire.
05/22/02 - Anyone with a barbershop quartet license plate deserves to be tailgated.
05/21/02 - And that's how they make light bulbs.
05/20/02 - AMY: Let's make friends with eastern European men. COURTNEY: And have them make farmyard noises.
05/19/02 - Cheesey housecats!
05/17/02 - Chris says, "Orange Julius is like fruit gravy." I think he's right.
05/16/02 - Did the student loan agency really need to send me a separate letter for each of my loans?
05/15/02 - I don't think that real Jedi knights would be interested in selling brightly-colored fruit rolls.
05/13/02 - Er, maybe tomorrow.
05/12/02 - Having a song in a foreign language stuck in your head is extra annoying.
05/11/02 - I'm allergic to the library! Aaaargh!
05/10/02 - Show yourself, lemon demon! I'll cut you in half!
05/09/02 - It looks like the maple tree is trying to have sex with our driveway.
05/08/02 - Cause of death: a Junior Mint and a four cylinder engine.
05/07/02 - Most of my e-mail comes from myself. And speaking of socks....
05/06/02 - "There's nothing worse than a drunken vampire whose socks don't match." And speaking of socks....
05/04/02 - Why is Rivig staring at me?
05/03/02 - Hilfboy says, "I'm a vampire from the waist down!"
05/02/03 - Philosophical Bobby asks, "What is the sound of no cats scratching?"
05/01/02 - Not even God can check out a reference book.

04/29/02 - Because he's not a cat!
04/28/02 - From Aly, "Cats have fangs, they don't need guns. But then why does Alucard have fangs and guns?"
04/27/02 - Being the same room with so many geneticists at once makes me a bit nervous.
04/26/02 - Don't scratch...don't scratch...don't scratch....
04/25/02 - The Methodist staircase assassination attempt has failed!
04/24/02 - Let the internet be your spell checker.
04/23/02 - Pasta salad would be nice.
04/22/02 - Fangs are not a family tradition, Aly!
04/21/02 - Feh!
04/20/02 - If I could have any wish I wanted, I'd wish for it to always be my turn.
04/19/02 - What if the cable guy sees all this vampire hair?
04/18/02 - The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand." (Lemony Snicket)
04/17/02 - Quoth Hilfboy, "Bangs are not fangs! But vampire guns go bang bang!"
04/13/02 - Kristine says, "Bring your own toilet paper while traveling in Thailand."
04/12/02 - Some people need sleeves.
04/09/02 - There's vampire hair in my laundry!
04/07/02 - It's a lava lamp of foreign fiction.
04/06/02 - There's vampire hair in my bathroom!
04/05/02 - Amy like fangs. Fangs fangs fangs!
04/04/02 - Even the cool underwear rides up.
04/02/02 - So I'm paying a monthly fee to not have an internet connection. Hmm.
04/01/02 - Your lane, my lane. Learn the difference!

03/31/02 - "This is a good Easter gun." OR "Crankiness is happiness." Both from Aly!
03/28/02 - If Stonehenge really was made of butter, then the Druids would have had clogged arteries.
03/24/02 - It's easy to have matching towels for one person.
03/22/02 - My daffodils say f*** you.
03/21/02 - Courtney on the thought selection process, "Are you looking for high literature here, or what?"
03/20/02 - Pocky for Vampires?
03/19/02 - "I only have 2 ice cube trays though...maybe that's why my plan for world domination failed." Poor Aly!
03/18/02 - I prefer my Aunts when they're stationary.
03/17/02 - Quoth Hilfboy, "Higher education will do wonders to dispel the myth of organized religion."
03/16/02 - Are you a parking chair?
03/15/02 - Beware the ides of March! (Julius Caesar, Act I, Scene II.)
03/14/02 - Things that are not interchangeable - bacon grease, bicycle grease.
03/13/02 - It was something about Home Ec classes for vampires, I don't quite recall....
03/12/02 - Hilfboy has invented the vampirates! "Yo ho ho and a bottle of blood!"
03/11/02 - Vampires with guns, what is this world coming to?!?
03/10/02 - Cats and hangers just don't mix.
03/08/02 - Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I want to talk to you.
03/07/02 - What did I do at work today? Well, I played with salsa and a photocopier.
03/05/02 - I honestly believe that my hair dryer makes the telephone ring.
03/04/02 - This vest doesn't have sleeves!
03/03/02 - He looks like an unemployed Soviet general, but cats don't drink vodka.
03/02/02 - Well, nuns on a roller coaster.
03/01/02 - Thank goodness for paper kitties!

02/28/02 - This isn't a track meet, it's a library.
02/27/02 - While at lunch, Claire said, "I love spontaneous combustion. I think it's fascinating."
02/26/02 - I don't speak Italian, but I still like the Renaissance.
02/25/02 - Librarians shouldn't lift refrigerators.
02/24/02 - "There's a cupcake army on my table?" (Thar attempts a Thought for the Day.)
02/23/02 - Amy's Hilfboy paraphrase...I've discovered a razor blade with my ass.
02/22/02 - Interesting haircuts are labor intensive.
02/21/02 - I'm a cat sandwich.
02/19/02 - Laundry day means clean socks for all.
02/18/02 - Aly vampire response, "But hell, if they live forever, you'd hope they'd have mastered some sort of advanced technology!"
02/17/02 - Hmm...odd spot for a scab.
02/16/02 - I don't know about the whole vampires with spaceships thing.
02/14/02 - Marcin's Polish wisdom: Najwiecej wiataminy maja ziemskie dziewczyny.
02/13/02 - How can you run a library without thumb tacks?
02/12/02 - Ten airplanes!
02/11/02 - From State College: Aly petitions readers to donate their unwanted long F0F8FF-haired demon boys.
02/10/02 - Who needs a doorbell when you have a cell phone?
02/09/02 - I wish we had a sugar cannon.
02/08/02 - Out of college, money spent, see no future, pay no rent....
02/07/02 - Look! It's a pack of jaywalking librarians!
02/06/02 - Hello Kitty does not swear like a sailor!
02/05/02 - "Sitting hunched at the computer is probably the worst way to treat a painful back." Well, that's Mr. Yuda's problem.
02/04/02 - Quoth Aly, "Boys should have fangs and earrings."
02/03/02 - Quoth Hilfboy, "Boys should have fangs, not earrings."
02/02/02 - I get to be on French television!
02/01/02 - If I were a baseball player I could have red shoes.

01/30/02 - Millie Macura, May 20, 1921 - January 30, 2002.
01/29/02 - My cousin has fangs! Cool.
01/28/02 - I don't like lemons that much, I just think they're amusing.
01/27/02 - "Z is for cat." (Bobby was thinking of Zonker.)
01/26/02 - Don't click while you're sneezing.
01/25/02 - Things don't look centered when you're sitting sideways.
01/24/02 - Go away, go away, go away!
01/23/02 - You can never have too much floss in the house.
01/22/02 - Bryan says, "Those pots are uppity."
01/19/02 - Yeah, right.
01/18/02 - Good God! Marie Antoinette!
01/17/02 - Why can't I have a four day weekend, too?
01/16/02 - Can you eat a donut, sing in Japanese, and drive to work all at the same time?
01/15/02 - It's hard to get four cats in one picture.
01/14/02 - I'm a $7.07 delinquent. I'm a menace to society.
01/04/02 - That's not a cat, it's a tote bag.
01/03/02 - Nuclear physicists don't know how to operate submarines!

2001

12/20/01 - I think the hot water heater is my new best friend.
12/18/01 - Why did Kuja's hair turn red? To get to the other side!
12/17/01 - I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. - Jane Austen
12/15/01 - So what would a German rooster sound like?
12/08/01 - Courtney should be a cranky author.
12/07/01 - For $20,000 I want a whole freaking set of luggage.
12/03/01 - It's not easy staying valid.
12/02/01 - Hey, it's tomorrow!
12/01/01 - Got a domain now. And happy birthday to Mom and Zonk!

11/28/01 - "Putting on one's coat can be difficult if you try and put your head through the arm hole." So says Hilfboy.
11/26/01 - From Aly, a special guest thought. "Sad things seem sadder if you wrap them up in bright packaging."
11/25/01 - I didn't toss my cookies, but I did drop my waffles.
11/22/01 - Revenge for Spooky Donkey is great.
11/21/01 - That was a piddlin' cat!
11/20/01 - Vera lives in the secret annex now.
11/17/01 - Hilfboy says, "Parties: the kind of self-perpetuating mischief that people who aren't clever like to participate in."
11/13/01 - My stapler is lying!
11/12/01 - Courtney reacts to another plane crash. "Let's look for cheap tickets!"
11/11/01 - When you try to type without looking, "sprinkler" turns into "sproonkles." Kinda funny, though.
11/08/01 - I bought my black cat a black collar so she could be stealthy.
11/07/01 - I can't tell you what I'm thinking today, for diplomatic reasons. But I'm annoyed.
11/05/01 - Pictures of geese...pictures of geese...pictures of geese....
11/04/01 - Oh, f*** it.
11/01/01 - From Courtney, a special guest thought. "Gay boys are fun too, just not for dating."

10/28/01 - My computer has a better understanding of daylight savings time than I do.
10/25/01 - Trees are nature's litterbugs. But they do recycle, I guess.
10/24/01 - PMS and spandex pants just don't go together well.
10/23/01 - Got my film developed, that picture of Bono's ass turned out nice.
10/21/01 - I'm two blocks from anthrax!
10/19/01 - Bono's the only one who needs to remember what city they're in.
10/17/01 - Where would the library be without wheels?
10/13/01 - I'm taking over the house!
10/12/01 - Courtney and Amy sing! "All we wanted was a bagel...all we got was rain...."
10/11/01 - Why do bugs fly into walls? I mean, windows, okay. But walls?
10/08/01 - An interesting set of suggestions from Spell Check - monks, honks, and conks!
10/05/01 - Ping pong hot spring! Fight fight fight!
10/03/01 - My dad isn't allowed to use his right arm for 6 weeks, so today he repainted a ceiling left handed.
10/01/01 - It's a binary date day! Like 10/10/01 and 10/11/01 and 11/01/01....

09/30/01 - My brother's moving out. You know, I'll really miss...his hair dryer. Best one in the house!
09/29/01 - It's fun to get your credit card bill when you don't remember buying anything.
09/27/01 - How come the Autobots never got speeding tickets?
09/18/01 - I'm building a shoe tower, but since it's only three pairs high, it's not very impressive. Yet.
09/17/01 - Working at the library means returning books for others.
09/16/01 - My mom's side of the family is afraid of ladders, but I take after my dad.
09/15/01 - Writing e-mail while intoxicated is probably a bad thing.
09/14/01 - If you're scared of needles (like Amy is) give the Red Cross some money (like Amy did).
09/05/01 - The window air conditioners on the Cathedral of Learning don't look very gothic.

08/25/01 - Why isn't there crack in crackers?
08/24/01 - Courtney has a fondness for square serving pieces.
08/23/01 - They're renumbering the exits, so I don't know where I live now.
08/22/01 - They didn't tell me WHERE to put that button.
08/21/01 - Overpriviledged girl's cable goes out, she's forced to watch DVDs all evening. No one feels sorry for her.
08/20/01 - From Aly, a special guest thought. "Hmm...how did they fit Bono inside that itsy bitsy snow globe?"
08/19/01 - My dad's teaching me how to drive a stick. He says now I can drive any car in the world, just not very well.
08/18/01 - When I'm an old lady, I'm NOT waiting in the car, thank you!
08/17/01 - It's a good thing fish like fish food.
08/16/01 - You know you're grown up when you have to buy your own toothpaste.
08/15/01 - It's oddly satisfying when your neighbor's new expensive car won't start, and your older car will.
08/14/01 - My computer's speakers look like those Easter Island statues.
08/13/01 - I wonder if you could tie-dye an umbrella?